took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
do herpes really smell.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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