So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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