Me. At least after what I've been through.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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