I haven't been this sober since birth.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
