She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
