Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
