possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize