there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
