i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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