They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
