I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
