I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
