Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
