I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
