I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
