If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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