Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
this hospital has no fireball
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
