He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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