I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
