Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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