walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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