I smell stomach acid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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