i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
