Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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