Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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