The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
