and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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