so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
