That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
