Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My cat gives me a boner
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
