I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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