U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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