i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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