Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
