Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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