He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize