Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
