Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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