you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
