Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will pee on everything he values.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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