Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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