Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Blood and glitter go together right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
