Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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