Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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