Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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