My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
