used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize