Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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