Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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