Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
only if we run a train.
done.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize