idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
