I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
