1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
