Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
