nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
