I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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