I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
