I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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