So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just cropdusted the office
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
