3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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