well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
