Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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