i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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