yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
