Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
