under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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